how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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