what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Randomize
