Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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