eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
