So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
