i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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