I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
