I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
