i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You need Xanax blowdarts
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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