Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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