Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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