we have officially lost it.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
