bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
