they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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