O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
