i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
