I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
