Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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