You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
