Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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