well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
What a dumb baby whore.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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