Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
