Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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