Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
