Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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