is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
