CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
