This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize