I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
