Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
