Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize