Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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