Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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