...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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