I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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