Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
