9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
