Who did Billy Mays play for?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
just found out that she named her cat after me.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Randomize
