OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
