maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
