Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
