it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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