You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Can Purell be used as lube?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
