What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
