You work out of a Hotel?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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