EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
It's never too late to be topless.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
