Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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