dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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