As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
