Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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