Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
