i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
