I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
honey bunches of taint.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
