yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
