just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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