Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
