Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
