um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
