I got chris browned last night
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
